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Jul. 29th, 2009

(no subject)

I wrote it down.
I'm bringing it up.
If said right,
what will be left?

I can breathe, hand me the smokes.
I cannot, hand me the vodka....
addict, addiction, addicting.
Which one belongs to me?

If I would like to,
I could keep the sand, in my hand.
I don't want to,
so it escapes through my open palm.
The flowing grains are free, are free.
Never to be held by me.

Discretion is not in my personality, it's not
in my vocabulary.
I scream my emotions with silence,
and my lies are opaque when I plead them to hide me.

I hold this intensity in my mind, racing racing,
speeding speeding, crashing, crashing
burning, burning
until my brain is nothing but the ash
in the closest cigarette.

Now, as a closing statement,
I never truly existed.

Jul. 26th, 2009

7/26



Fasted till 3,
at a fucking chocolate bunt.
purged that, but still, I think claiming 200 calories is good.

planned: cucumber and tomato with dressing (80)
chicken and pepper:100
okay, so the cumber was bad. I made tuna and instead of mayo used half a avocado (great by the way) and spices, tomato, and lettuce. (about 280)
Total damage : 4fucking80/500
Not eating anything else.



WILL WORKOUT, Promise.
Thinspo














another thinspiration (laiiis) Tags: portrait girl polaroid skinny thin menina thinspiration

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3203/3132196130_cc09ff68e2.jpg?v=0


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2410/1579479227_29dbe30416.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2290/1579478125_c70d8f7e0d.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2017/1579483761_63b76990f8.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/161/341112953_1e50c6af34.jpg?v=0

z53629166 by anorexias_bones.

blessed by anorexias_bones.

Real Girl Thinspiration by theparisgirl.

Real Girl Thinspo by theparisgirl2.


Real Girl Thinspo by theparisgirl2.







049 by candydoll.

Thinspiration by wiccan_newyorker_333.

Real Girl Thinspo by theparisgirl2.








Jul. 25th, 2009

(no subject)

I will purge until I can't, every time I eat.
It goes in the toilet. Not on my hips.

Much better!

Life is good, I feel way better.
:)
Intake-------------263/500
Salmon and green beans
(Water and a Kashi bar)
Outtake -----------663


Total...................-400


:D

jhjhyuiy.jpg Avril goth dress image by ejar_bucket


set5.jpg punk model image by xxxmikanbouyaxxx



i252468984_91034_7.jpg

z150878690.jpg


i251634111_15856_7.jpg


z67391863.jpg

z131794278.jpg

z168337198.jpg



Jul. 24th, 2009

Lets make this right

TODAY SUCKED
Gained to much, ate too much.
FASTING!
Start 12 am 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Intake ----.
cigarette
diet pills
cola zero
club soda
powerade zero
water
1 slice of pizza..... 300?
1 soyjoy..................130
tortilla chips and salsa....70
(to have) peas and broth.... 10
Damage........400(+10)
Output--->Nothing, sick.

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

Jul. 23rd, 2009

:/ not feeling good.....


2am 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12  (Maybe more....)

Bagel.... I hope it's less then(300)
Baked Beans                          (250)
Bread                                        (200)

Milk                                           (100)
850/500

Nothing so far... (0)
Net total +850 :(

I barely slept at all last night, and then I had a terrible headache,
so stupid me decided to eat a bagel because I thought it would help.
FATTY.
I'm not feeling good. I think I'm going to just fast for the rest of the day,
then go to bed early. THEN I'll go work out in the morning.
It's a 6 mile walk round trip to/fro the gym, but dad is out of town.
That's at least 600 calories burned, not including the gym!































Jul. 22nd, 2009

Again! Fasting!

Day one:Completed!

Start 10pm 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Ate! but that's really okay.
I have diet pills and cigarettes. :)
Coffee and Cream : 50
Orange Popsicle  15
Red Popsicle       15
Omelet of 1 full egg, 1 egg white,
one small onion, and little bit of chicken (200)
V8 (50)
Total :330/500

Vacuuming (85)
Elliptical 32 minutes (446)
Bike riding (70)

Net total -231!

To do..... 
1)Vacuum whole house
2)dishes
3)read Acid House
4)room
5)Workout
IVE LOST 5 MORE lbs THEN 
EXPECTED FOR THIS WEEK!!!!!!!




























Jul. 20th, 2009

Fasting

Start (10 pm) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Easy peasy pumpkin pie Motherfucker.

Thinspo (lets do it Gothic.) 24 hours, 24 photos

 












 

































Jul. 16th, 2009

(no subject)

not good enough.

Jul. 15th, 2009

FAILURE

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